Humor for smart people

 *The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again
invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.*
*
Here are the winners:*
1.* Cashtration* (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2.* Ignoranus*: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3.* Intaxicaton*: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

4.* Reintarnation*: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5.* Bozone *( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.

6.* Foreploy*: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7.* Giraffiti*: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8.* Sarchasm*: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

9.* Inoculatte*: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10.* Osteopornosis*: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11.* Karmageddon*: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.

12.* Decafalon* (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

13.* Glibido*: All talk and no action.

14.* Dopeler Effect*: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

15.* Arachnoleptic Fit* (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

16.* Beelzebug* (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17.* Caterpallor* ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.

*
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly
contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words.

And the winners are:** *

1.* Coffee*, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2.* Flabbergasted*, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
gained.

3.* Abdicate*, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4.* esplanade*, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5.* Willy-nilly*, adj. Impotent.

6.* Negligent*, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
nightgown.

7.* Lymph*, v. To walk with a lisp.

8.* Gargoyle*, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.* Flatulence*, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.

10.* Balderdash*, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11.* Testicle*, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12.* Rectitude*, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13.* Pokemon*, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14.* Oyster*, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15.* Frisbeetarianism*, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.* Circumvent*, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men

About Ady Simion (Realtor and Public Notary)

Ady Simion was named in the Top 1% of all agents for NRT LLC a subsidiary of Realogy that operates a variety of real estate offices under brands such as Coldwell Banker, Sotheby's International Realty, Century 21, The Corcoran Group, and the technology-based brokerages ZipRealty and Climb Real Estate. NRT has 787 offices and 47,000 sales associates. Selling and buying property can be very stressful but with the right agent it can be profitable and a fun experience. Ady is also a Notary Public and being a people person he wants to help negotiate for his clients making their transactions as smooth as possible. Ady’s goals are simple: He wants to be the best source of information on the Los Angeles area Real Estate market, as he assists clients through each transaction with care and professionalism. He is proud of his large referral base of clients who have placed their trust in him over the years. Why him, when there are so many good people out there?!?! • Sellers will have their property exposed to the largest team of sales professionals in the world by far. Coldwell Banker Agents sale more homes than anyone else. • Buyers will have the opportunity to view more properties exclusively. • And most importantly when you hire him you get a whole team working for you not just “only one person”. Ady Simion started his Professional Career as an Insurance Agent, and then mastered the Mortgage Industry focusing on helping buyers and sellers achieve their life dreams. He now is an Agent with the Largest Residential Real Estate Company in the nation and the world, Coldwell Banker, at the Pasadena office which is the leader in the areas in which he specializes. After finishing College Ady has consistently been a Top Producer in every office/business he worked at. He speaks English, Romanian and Spanish. Real Estate is constantly changing and working with an agent that has been involved in the Real Estate buying/selling process most of his life is always beneficial for clients. Call, text or e-mail him or just stop by to say Hi and ask any real estate questions you may have.

Posted on October 22, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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